i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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