capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize