absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
