His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
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Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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