I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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