I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
if only i could text you this smell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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