It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
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Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
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Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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