Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it's like heaven, but drunker
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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