are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize