Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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