so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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