hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
