I'm so fucking centered right now
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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