yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
