mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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