so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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