Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
