The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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