there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Of course I have a pirate flag
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
