If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
