She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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