Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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