at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
