you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
