a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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