have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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