2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
