Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
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...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
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I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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