i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize