I want you more than these girls want KFC
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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