Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
