u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
