I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You work out of a Hotel?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
