I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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