did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
