I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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