been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
