she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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