Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
