I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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