Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize