i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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