No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
