I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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