Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize