he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i think my cat just said my name.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
