and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
