Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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