That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
