You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
