Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
