Whod you bang
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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