She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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