Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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