And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
