We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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