remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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