PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
