Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
