i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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