Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just googled if crying burns calories
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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