Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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