you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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