I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
