You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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