remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize