Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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