I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
