Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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