Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
